Wow!! It’s been since my 1 year update since I have blogged at all! I am so sorry!! 😥 And this one will not be very long until I get back from Chicago for my 2 year follow up. We leave on Monday morning. I am so so nervous!! I don’t think it’s been until recently that I have truly been terrified that I could no longer be in remission. I have not been feeling the greatest since about the beginning of August. Nothing new symptom wise that I can remember (make a list of symptoms you have before you go into transplant btw… I wish I would have!), but…. I just…. i don’t know. I don’t know if it’s stress… or nerves…. over thinking…. fear…..???? Leading up to this 2 year mark since transplant I have thought a lot about where my life was heading, how fast I was going downhill… how bad the relapses were, and how terrified I am of going back to that. Back to the unknown. Although I have not improved symptom wise very much compared to others, I am functioning somewhat better. I am not as afraid of waking up every day not knowing if I will be able to walk when I get out of bed, or if my vision is going to go away again and worse, or permanently and so much more. But now, I am afraid of going back to being afraid. Idk. I suffer from really bad anxiety and it has gotten significantly worse since transplant. I am not sure why. I still have 3 and a half more days until I find out my results… and I would really like to enjoy my time with Nate & Max and try not to be worrying the whole time. Worrying changes nothing I know… so I wish I could just turn the worry switch off. Lol. Please just pray for no progression or enhancement. I will definitely update my blog after we get home.
We will be heading to the Shedd Aquarium the 1st day! I am definitely excited! I’ve always wanted to go there. Tests day 2. And Dr. Burt Day 3. <=== can’t wait for day 3.
Below are some pictures from this summer. We did go to Mt. Olympus also! Those are the times I must remember! There is absolutely NO way before transplant I would’ve enjoyed anytime there…. or made it through a day. It was amazing…. totally draining…. but so so worth it!! I can NOT tell you a time that I went somewhere with the boys and was actually able to truly enjoy myself at times without being in tears. I can’t thank Nate enough for everything. He has been there through so much with us…. and still is. I bet he really cannot wait till wednesday is over with. Lol. Anyways…. back to the summer!!
I really did enjoy a lot of this last summer. So blessed and grateful for every single day.
I hope & pray everyone is staying safe in all the fires, hurricanes and such. ❤
I will be updating soon with results…. good results…..